OY!!! Never do I want to go shopping on a saturday in December again. and i think i'm going to be e. e. cummings and not capitalize anything. just simply because i'm tired, lazy, and i really don't want to throw off my groove. ha ha ha. anyways so i hate really shopping on saturdays. i mean h-a-t-e! and i think that shopping on saturdays just got ten times worse cause its the first saturday in december. so everybody and their dog was out there shopping, trying to get all the most amazing deals ever.
story one: jcpenney. i've never been a huge fan of their clothing, some of it is s-u-p-e-r over priced. there was a single rack (a four way rack) that had a large variety of different clothing items. it probably had one of everything on this rack. i was going through it, looking at the different items, seeing if there was something exciting hidden inbetween the over-priced velour loung set and a piece of clothing that was titled 'a skirt' when it could have been a belt. anyways, this chick literally shoved me out of the way to look at the same rack i was looking at (this rack was 90% off). so i politely said, oh excuse me, didn't see myself standing there and moved over to the other arm on this rack. she just kept shoving me! not even saying anything, just kept shoving me. whenever i did hear her talk she was speaking some random language that was not english or spanish or french. needless to say i was sick of it. so i said something. if you were wanting to look at something you can just ask me to move, i'd be much more willing to do than that have you just shove me out of the way. than she went off in her random language. i just walked off. there wasn't even anything good on that rack.
story two: macy's- this one was a similiar story, but not entirely. my goal in macy's was to find a sweater/jacket, or even a dress! i was looking on the clearance rack, once again, and this guy, yes a male, comes up to the rack and starts rummaging through. i thought, okay he's looking for his daughter, or his wife no big deal. ha was i ever wrong. there was a mauve cable-knit sweater that i had been eyeing that i liked, and had picked one up to try it one. this guy picks one up as well, and just puts it on right there. he takes his shirt off (yes he was wearing a shirt of somesort underneath) and puts the sweater on r-i-g-h-t there. i was appalled. i couldn't believe it! needless to say, i quickly put that sweater back on the rack and very swiftly and non-discreetly left the department. i was about to throw up. i was dry heaving when he put it on, but if i had stayed in that department i was going to lose it.
story three: my gold lovely van- hot headed drivers bug the crap out of me. i hate the intersection of main street and hill field road (isn't that an oxymoron?). its always horribly busy and it makes people very impatient. and i don't think i'm helping with the case. i can always tell when people are driving and they are in the hurry. it'll probably get me introuble someday, but so far it hasn't :-). anyways, if people are trying to get over into my lane, i slow down and i let them in. this car behind me did not appreciate the fact that i was being nice and letting people in. and he laid on his horn and gave me the birdie when i lookin in my side mirrors to see who was honking. i was so laughing. and that made him just more mad. but don't even worry, i got my pay back. see people think that since i drive a van, that i automatically slow. but i don't, and they are dumb to think that i do drive slow. when we got up to the line, we did what every us citizen does. we raced off the line. i naturally won, and once we got past the 25 foot line i leveled off with the speed and just kept driving. no, this man thinking that i'm going to be the big-bad-man-who-can-beat-the-mini-van-after-the-twenty-five-foot-mark just kept on with the speed. twenty seconds later a big-bad-cop-on-a-motorcycle pulls him over. i'm thinking he was going about twenty over. ha ha sucker. never, i repeat never mess with a single chick driving a mini van. if you underestimate her, she'll just rub it in your face. with a speeding ticket!
and those are the stories thus far of my shopping pleasures. ha ha, hold on shopping trips. not pleasures.
